just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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