Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
