Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
