My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
should my penis look like a turkey
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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