Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize