So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
