I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
