I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
