My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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