Jerry, you need to find god
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Randomize
