Non-Jews are for practice
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
