yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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