Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
foreskin is a definite game changer
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
