Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
A bitchslap is in order.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
