you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
