while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
