So drunk its hurt
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
