i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
