Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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