I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
