that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
