i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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