did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
