super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
