Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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