I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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