I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
