Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
