how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
