My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
