If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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