there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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