my mouth tastes like poor choices
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize