Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.