no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?