If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
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