i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
