HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize