i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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