You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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