He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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