Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
