I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Just invented taco cereal.
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He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
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Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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