Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Sorry about my life...
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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