No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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