you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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