thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
