i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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