I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
