who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize