I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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