Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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