I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
