i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
