____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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