The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I would ride that face into the sunset
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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