I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
