absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
