i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
People in love make me want to vomit
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
