i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
