the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize