and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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