Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
