plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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