i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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