she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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