i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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