I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
