Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
NoShamevember. You game?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Randomize
